How YouTube Makeup Tutorials Helped Me Survive High School
Any day I felt lonely after school or on a weekend, I could turn to watching a [makeup] video … to make it better.
Makeup became part of my identity, something everyone knew me for.
My fascination with beauty vloggers persisted through high school, and as my collection of beautiful products took up more and more space and I got better at my makeup skills, I stopped caring about things my peers thought about me. Makeup gave me the confidence to express myself. While so many other girls either stuck to a more fresh-faced look or a simple swipe of black eyeliner, I wore Urban Decay Mildew eye shadow, a shimmery green-and-gold color, all over my lids regularly. It complemented my dark brown eyes, so why the hell not?
This hobby got me through a lot—when the two-years-older boy I liked stopped texting me, I played with makeup. When I stayed home from prom, I wore a killer eye look and enjoyed a delicious dinner with my family. Makeup was something I could turn to that simply allowed me to create. I could jam out to the Jonas Brothers and High School Musical songs or concentrate silently and make art on my face in whatever way I wanted. There was no messing up—even the extreme winged eyeliner served as practice for what I didn’t want, for when I’d eventually want to wear the look somewhere.