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I Turned Myself Into Timothée Chalamet Using Only 8 Drugstore Products

harry hill

 Harry Hill

Meet Byrdie Boy Harry Hill. Each month, he'll be sharing his latest musings on beauty and pop culture. This month, we asked him to transform himself into Timothée Chalamet using only products at the drugstore. Because, why not?

It’s 2020 and Timothée Chalamet is the actor. He’s the red carpet’s current darling and the fashion world’s latest obsession. Plus, he can speak, like, three languages. So why did I, who can only speak one language (if that), decide to transform myself into him? For the content, of course! Since I don’t have any upcoming trips to Cannes or Lily-Rose Depp’s cell number, I had to settle for something a little bit more topical. What I do have is a drugstore around the corner from me, and that drugstore just happens to sell makeup.

I started with a reference photo of Mr. Chalamet, so that I could refer to his chiseled, porcelain features whilst perusing the aisles of Rite Aid. I carried it around on my iPad, which was almost like having him there IRL, except he didn’t say anything, so I can’t prove the three language thing.

 Even without the reference pic, I knew I would need a super-light foundation because my skin is pinky-tan while his is ghost-white. I also knew I needed something to turn my hair into his unruly locks that are prone to sticking out in every direction. With repeated glances at the reference pic, I also realized I’d need something to make my eye area more red, more tired looking. Do they make eyeshadow in the color “Oscar-Nominated-bedroom-eyes?” I thought to myself in the fluorescent aisles.

harry hill
 Harry Hill

I’m anti-shopping basket because I like to make things difficult for myself, so by the end of my drugstore excursion, I was struggling to hold onto all 8 of my makeup finds. Oh, and iPad-Timothée. We musn’t forget iPad Timothée! Suffice it to say I was a hot mess. Though I had a $50 budget, I spent around $75 because, like McDonald’s, drugstore makeup is only cheap in theory.

Little did I know that in a couple of hours, I’d be an even bigger hot mess, except much paler and with crunchier hair. And $25 in the hole.

After using all 8 of the Timothee-transforming products, I looked more like a Tim Burton character than America’s current favorite actor. Since there’s no drugstore equivalent to, er, plastic surgery, I lacked Chalamet’s sharp jawline and gaunt cheekbones. While I did try to recreate those vaguely enviable features with some contour (courtesy of a Revlon brow kit), it ended up kind of looking like dirt. Does Timothée have a role in which he’s covered in dirt? If so, that’s probably the closest I got.

Here are the products I used and some post-transformation thoughts on them.

harry hill
Harry Hill

Maybelline Baby Lips in My Pink

If you completed freshman year of highschool, you’re probably aware of Baby Lips by Maybelline. They come in an array of natural-ish pink hues and go on like your standard chapstick. For Chalamet, I chose the base color, My Pink, which served my (our?) purposes well. It gives the lip a boost, taking them from their natural color to an elevated, brighter pink.

 Maybelline Fit Me! Blush in Mauve

This product was probably the most experimental of the bunch because I didn’t get it for its intended purpose, which is to go on the cheeks. I got it to create a reddish, tired effect on my lids. I’m not sure if using blush on your eyelids is even legal, but it got the job done and looked quite natural. Step aside, Naked palettes...

 Maybelline Master Conceal in Fair

If you’ve got something to hide, this concealer will get rid of all the evidence. I probably could have spent a little bit more time finding the proper color, but without Timothée standing there in the flesh, I could only guess which shade would work best. A little goes a long way with this one.

 Neutrogena Shine Control Powder

Remember when I said I was anti-shopping basket? Well, this product bore the brunt of my silly ways: when I opened it at home, it was cracked and shattered, having dropped it on the unforgiving drugstore floor. I’ve tried it since, without a full face of ivory-hued makeup, and it works wonders. Plus, it’s invisible, which is a good thing if you’re trying to look like you’re not trying.

 Wet n Wild Photofocus Foundation in Rose Ivory

Back when I thought I would try my hand at being a beauty guru on YouTube for, like, a month in in 2017, I got my hands on this foundation. Tati Westbrook recommended it, naturally. This time, I got it in a shade 100X too light for my skin in the name of Chalamet. I feel the same about it now as I did then: it smells like paint thinner but it’s full coverage and so, so cheap (like $4.45 cheap).

 Wet n Wild Water Drop Primer in Cucumber

Looking back, I guess I didn’t need a primer. But hey, who hasn’t gotten carried away in the makeup aisle of their local Rite Aid?! It didn’t get rid of my pores like I totally thought it would, but it did smell slightly cucumber-y.

 Garnier Fructis Style Surfer Hair Power Putty

If Timothée and I have anything in common, it’s that we both have natural brown hair. How many people can say that? However, where I like to heat and style mine, Chalamet seems to let his do whatever the hell it wants. In an attempt to Timothée-fy my hair, I wet it and then ran some Surfer Putty through it. This step, again, made me look like a Tim Burton character (the one with scissors for hands, to be specific).

 Revlon Colorstay Brow Kit in Dark Brown

After quickly mourning the fact that I couldn’t use Glossier Boy Brow for this transformation, I decided I needed something to enhance my brows. I settled on a brow kit from Revlon, which was just ok. The kit consisted of a dark brown powder and a white/clear wax (which promptly fell out of its casing). While I picked it up to make my brows bushier (it did), I ended up using it as a contour of sorts. I made my nose a little slimmer and enhanced the lines under my eyes. While I wouldn’t recommend it as a contour, it can be used as such if you’re in a pinch.

timothee
Harry Hill 

The verdict:

If you want to look like Timothée Chalamet, your best bet is to be Timothée Chalamet. If you’re somehow unable to do that, your next best bet would be to hire this Tik Tok makeup artist—she has a solid grasp on Chalamet’s features, down to his eye color. I’m going to go out on a pale limb and say that she procured her products somewhere other than the drugstore, though.

While you may not be able to look like Chalamet, you can certainly act like him. Just download Duo Lingo, learn three languages and stop paying so much attention to your hair. C’est la Timothée. 

Follow Harry on Instagram for more of his daily musings.

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