Apparently, thong bikinis are a thing now. Being British and, in turn, a bit more reserved, I’m not sure how I feel about this. So how do I know the thong is in? Well, Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid and Hailey Baldwin have all been photographed this week in a tropical location draped over Jet Skis and yachts all wearing the teeny, tiny two-piece. But would you dare to wear one? And if you have decided that yes, you would, the next question has to be: How on earth do you prep your bum for a thong bikini?
For starters, we’re all bikini ready. You know the meme that did the rounds a while back and said, “The fastest way to get a bikini body is to put a bikini on your body”? Well, it's true. But when one’s bikini bottoms are über-revealing, it’s understandable that you may want to prep for it just a bit.
So, as mentioned previously, being a reserved Brit, I’m sharing the five things I would have to personally do before placing my backside into a thong and heading out on my yacht (I wish):
First things first, I would forgo any sort of walking before my holiday. Instead, I would squat everywhere: from my house to the bus stop, from my desk to the kitchen or to meetings. Sure, I might get some sideways glances from passersby, but at least my bum would be getting progressively peachier.
In all seriousness though, the squat is one of the best moves to build a pert, round derrière. For more butt-boosting exercises, check out these moves from Instagram fit star Brittany Perille.
The reason the beauty world always advises dry body brushing is because it really does work. It helps to smooth the skin and boost circulation, in turn making cellulite appear less visible.
Fake tan has this wondrous ability to make everyone look slimmer and more toned. It also helps disguise uneven skin texture. I would book in for a spray tan or apply This Works Perfect Legs Gradual Tan (£38) across my butt too. In fact, I ignore its name and apply it all over my body. What can I say? I’m a rebel, but I'm a rebel with a great, even, real-looking fake tan.
Reasons? Obvious. Booked a last-minute getaway? Find a waxing appointment quick using Treatwell.
Lastly, I would make like Hailey and company, find a Jet Ski, pop that booty out and pose. Or, you know, I would more likely go grab a Margarita and chill out on a lounger, whatever floats your boat (or yacht, should I say?).
If you're not sure the thong bikini is for you, check out the Brazilian, which is not quite as "barely there." Plus, according to Lily Russo, co-founder of resort-wear site Beach Flamingo, a smaller bikini bottom is actually rather quite flattering. "I've always worn Brazilian-cut bikinis," she tells Who What Wear UK. "In fact, for my body shape and any other pear-shaped and curvy ladies out there, a Brazilian-cut tie-side bikini is the most flattering shape, but up until a year ago, it was seen as skimpy as a thong by the Brits," explains Lily.
Next up, check out the best fake tans we've found.
Opening Image: @haileybaldwin.