I Got Botox in My Neck to Get Rid of Wrinkles and This Is How It Went

When it comes to self-image, everyone has their thing. For some people, it’s eyes, their nose, or lips. My thing’s my neck. My childhood stuffed animal was a giraffe, because I could always relate. Necklace-wielding jewelry store staff always race towards me with their eyes on an obvious sale. The rule about no-face nudes doesn’t exactly apply to me; my neck is the tell. If past lives exist, I was huge in ancient Egypt. 

At my level of skincare and beauty research, Talmudic scholars would seem abrupt in their assessment of the Torah. My home vanity is like the work of a miniature beaver: products everywhere that are obscure, but clearly not random. My evening neck routine varies on a theme: cleansing milk, manual exfoliation, a chemical exfoliating toner, active serum, some form of tretinoin or retinol, and a heavy cream or oil. All of that isn’t enough to combat the dreaded tech-neck our generation has been plagued with. After all, I got my first Blackberry in the 6th grade (RIP BBM.) Too small for dermal fillers and impervious to lasers or surgical lifts, these neck lines can be seriously evil. Lo and behold, I found their napalm: neck Botox.