While my Russian grandmother was alive, she’d regularly tell me that a date with destiny can happen any day. Then, she’d emphasize how important it is to look as good as possible for destiny. Don’t you just love the Eastern European approach to glamor? Well, this ominous tidbit about destiny was drilled into me from a pretty early age; I was around 9 years old when I swapped out my Velcro Teva sandals for various types of Mary Janes and kitten heels.
20 years later, I still wear heels (mostly crazy stilettos) almost every day. I’m no Carrie Bradshaw, but I have a lot of heels and I make the most of them. I’ve never been the type of person to take off uncomfortable shoes to dance at a wedding; I just suffer through the pain. Frankly, it’s a miracle that my feet are as normal-looking as they are. Advil is part of my bag of essentials, especially when new stilettos are involved. I’ve looked for a natural alternative, mostly because I veer on the holistic side of things and prefer not to take anything non-herbal unless it’s life-threatening. As far as testing natural pain relievers go, I’ve been pretty unsuccessful.
While there hasn’t been a major earthquake near West Hollywood for almost 30 years, the legalization of marijuana and CBD certainly shook things up. No one’s been hurt in the proceedings, except for beauty editor’s overflowing inboxes. It’s nearly impossible to work in the beauty/wellness industry without hearing the C-word (cannabis) at least once daily.
I have to admit; I’ve felt somewhat lost—or maybe just disinterested—in the CBD skincare bubble. I haven’t seen a noticeable difference in my skin when I’ve used cannabis infusions on it. I have 10,000 other products that work just as well, if not better.
I am always trying to feel more calm though, and the only CBD products that have ever worked to mitigate any of my crippling anxiety are from Lord Jones. Filling a piping hot tub with the Bath Salts makes a psychotic day seem just mildly difficult; morning coffees are not the same without adding Royal Oil to balance out the jitters and sustain my focus. My mom loves their Body Lotion for arthritic pains, and editors have touted its beneficial effects on monthly cramps.
Two weeks ago, I found out that Lord Jones teamed up with one of my favorite stiletto brands to create a targeted pain-relief cream to help me as I get dressed for my eventual date with destiny.
I love Tamara Mellon. Her shoes are consistently ranked as some of my favorites and most covet-worthy. Last year she put out a “Leave Him on Red” collection of red shoes inspired by Cardi B’s song “I Do”. I stan Cardi, so through the transitive property, I stan Tamara. I literally couldn’t slather the new Lord Jones + Tamara Mellon High CBD Formula Stiletto Cream ($70) product onto my feet fast enough.
I rubbed the cream all over my soles, toes, arches and heels, and let it absorb for a few minutes before putting on a brand-new pair of pumps with an ultra-high pitch to test out the formula. While I believe in witchcraft, I’ve never seen it work like this before. Every moment throughout the day, I waited for the soreness to sink in as it normally would, and it just didn’t. Ever. After five hours of wearing new stilettos, I felt nothing. I didn’t have to soak my feet in Epsom salts or wear a pack of frozen blueberries while catching up on 90 Day Fiancé.
Last weekend, I went to Joshua Tree and hiked 160 acres in heeled boots because I’m crazy, and I forgot to bring sneakers. Fortunately for my feet, I didn’t forget to pack the Stiletto Cream. “Life-saving” may sound like it’s hyperbolic, but it’s really an understatement when it comes to this. If I were deputized to stock a First-Aid for special occasions, this would be on top of my list.
I finally feel like I’m at the place where I can swap out my bottle of Advil with a topical alternative (albeit a pricey one). So, if you love stilettos but hate suffering, meet your new best friend. Now I just need to find something to stop me from constantly rolling my ankles.