I Wore Fake Nipples During a Date, and This Is What Happened

Nipples. They're a part of every human's body, and yet they elicit a response soaked in sexism and censorship. They're banned from Instagram (but only for women), and Anne Hathaway still cites her Prada dress from the 2013 Oscars (perhaps one of my all-time favorites for its minimalism and '90s neckline) as her worst dressed moment because it "looked like her nipples were hard." A Twitter account was even created on her body's behalf. And let's not forget she won the Oscar that night.

It's simply ridiculous that this is still a thing, which is why I was delighted when a female entrepreneur reached out to me about her new products: faux nipples. As part of her mission statement, with every purchase, she donates a pair to a woman who has or is currently undergoing breast reconstruction. After reading her words, I realized I was absolutely game. We're conditioned to speak of these things only in hushed tones, but in the end, it's about body image and confidence (two topics I'll write about with openness and honesty until I develop carpal tunnel). Plus, I think nipples look sexy. Luckily, I had a date the same day I received the package and resolved to take them for a spin that night. Keep reading to find out what happened next.