I Took My Crush on Our First Spa Date—Here's How It Went Down

Before you call me dramatic for being nervous about a couples massage, hear me out: Figuring out how to gift someone during the in-between stage of meeting and dating is so hard. Especially when you don't want to go the basic route of, like, a scent or an item of clothing. Lately, material gifts have run their course with me, and I've come to appreciate experiential gifts more and more. Nowadays, I love putting people on to an experience they've always wanted to try but never had the opportunity to. I get massages regularly—it's a form of self-care that I take very seriously. It's also a really personal experience. During my massages, I meditate, pray, and get lost in my thoughts. This is all to paint a quick picture. And while I consider myself a massage aficionado, I've never experienced one with someone else...until now.

Keep scrolling to get the lowdown on how my very first couples massage came about.

Why I Chose a Couples Massage

So the birthday of the guy I'm dating was quickly approaching, and I had absolutely no idea what to get him. I was racking my brain and stressing out, so to calm my nerves and get some input I called together a mini brainstorm with my closest friends.

As I sat on the couch with my girls, we started throwing out ideas on how I could celebrate my not-quite-yet-boyfriend. The one friend suggested, "How about a couples massage?" Nervousness immediately rushed into every bone in my body along with a panicked thought: That's such an intimate thing to do with someone—and we aren't technically in a relationship yet. After an hour of cajoling, I finally agreed that it would be a good idea. Plus, I knew for a fact he'd never had one before so I booked the appointment hoping it would be a success on my part and his.

What to Expect from a Couples Massage


If you haven't treated yourself to a trip to Haven Spa in New York yet, I highly suggest indulging in one of the luxurious spa treatments there. As soon as you walk in, it's like you're engulfed by a dreamy, dimly lit escape. Its romantic and moody atmosphere sparked the onset of my nerves even more but was indeed perfect for the occasion.

I felt more at ease after entering the spacious room and seeing the setup that showed both of our massage chairs at opposite ends. It was still a personal moment between the both of us but not too close for comfort. It took about 15 minutes for my mind to finally calm down (I'm usually instantly relaxed), but the masseuses were extremely personable, which helped with the whole experience.

After our time was up, I of course just needed to know what he thought about his first massage experience. Come to find out? He loved it and is actually looking to go back for a second massage. That huge wave you just heard crashing? That was my relief.

The Final Takeaway

I've had many massages in my day (beauty girl at heart right here), but my first couples massage was wholly new. An individual trip is a way to mentally tune out the noise of your busy life, but sharing that very personal experience of a full-body massage with someone you care about is so exciting and enjoyable. Considering that and his happiness with the experience too, I think it's safe to say I won major brownie points for this one.

Next up: I Helped My Boyfriend Start Following a Grown-Up Skincare Regimen—Here's How.

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